Pregnancy amazes me so much. A body can be the home of another human being for 9 months or so, giving shelter, caring for it, nurturing it and helping it to develop and grow and at the same time function to care for the self. I call myself very lucky to able to experience this miracle and would like to share how the pregnancy has taught me to love, trust and appreciate my body to an extent I have never experienced before.
Before I got pregnant I was always wondering how it would feel to experience growing a life inside of me. I imagined it to be absolutely amazing, but there were also some worries running through my head. One of the things I thought about was to what degree I would be able to continue the things I have always been doing and how freely I would be able to move. I thought that I would probably be physically restricted and that I would have to be very careful. There was definitely a lack of understanding that pregnancy is most natural to the female body.
All these thoughts changed and dissolved almost as soon as I got pregnant. Already throughout the first weeks of my pregnancy I developed a trust and appreciation towards my body I have never had before. In the past years I have learned to let go of negative self talk, criticism of my body and have successfully worked on developing a healthy and positive body image. There was however, always a piece of not fully trusting my body left and more room towards being thankful and appreciative.
I believe that my attitude definitely influenced my experience positively from the beginning on (read my previous post on The Power of Positive Thinking on a Positive Pregnancy Experience) but there was something internal that just naturally happened and I allowed it to happen. One could also focus on the negative side effects of a pregnancy and allow these to guide the experience; this however, was definitely not an option for me. So once I distanced myself from attaching to the negative side effects the positive things were able to grow and I was able to notice and feel them. From that I once again learned that in every experience even if we do not have full power over the event itself, we do have a strong influence on what part of the experience we want to focus on and attach to.
The female body is naturally capable of growing and carrying a baby, while at the same time being able to function and capable of continuing to do almost everything it has been capable of doing before. I decided to incorporate more mindful and meditative elements into my yoga practice and this has and is still helping me to connect to my body and the little life growing inside of me. Through the pregnancy itself, with the help of the practices, which allow me to truly feel my body, I have developed a connection to my body and sense of contentment I have never had in my life before.
The connection and contentment originates, as I believe in the trust I have developed. I have found a balance between understanding that my body knows how to do its functions very well and at the same time I am maintaining agency over what I can do for its health and well- being while being mindful of what it needs without pushing too hard or becoming lazy. I continue to move, to do my yoga practice, to meet friends, and do the things I love. I am mindful of my new role but also know it does not need to restrict my choices.
The body is such an amazing structure and system and now during my pregnancy I have understood and am feeling it more than ever. It does everything to be able to support and grow another life and I can fully trust that. I am still experiencing fears and doubts at time. When something feels a little different or I think that the belly isn’t really growing I am scared something might have happened to the baby. I guess this is something normal and I am also learning to deal with that and to trust. There are and always will be things in life I have no control over and if they are ment to happen they will. What I can do is to do my best and take care of my and the baby’s well- being to the degree that I can influence it.